FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
- Can you provide advice about my particular situation?
- What kind of trouble does my teen have to be in for me to need this group?
- What if my spouse won't go with me to the group?
- Is there a fee?
- Does my teen go with me to the group?
- Will you tell me what to do?
- Why do I need to go to a group when my teen is the one with the problem?
- How long will it take before I see changes in my teen's behaviour?
Can you provide advice about my particular situation?
We are very sorry, but TOUGHLOVEŽ New Zealand simply cannot give you any advice, no matter how much background you provide us. The heart of our program is the advice that you will get from all the members of your support group. And that advice will take you time to believe, to absorb and then to follow.
However, if you believe you are in immediate physical danger, please:
Phone the POLICE! 111
What kind of trouble does my teen have to be in for me to need this group?
You are the one who decides what is a problem in your home. TOUGHLOVE Parent Support Groups help parents with a wide range of problems from, "my son won't clean his bedroom" to "my son has been arrested for...". If you are concerned about your teen's behaviour, that is enough.
What if my spouse won't go with me to the group?
You will find other people in the group in the same situation. Go to the group and ask your friends and relatives to go with you and support you.
Is there a fee?
There is a one-time charge of $40.00 for the materials you will need in the group when you join. There is also a gold coin donation per week requested for each family. If the money is a problem for you, don't let it prevent you from going to the group. Instead, let the group know and they will assist you.
Does my teen go with me to the group?
No. The group is for parents and other adults that care about you and your family. Your kid does not need to know everything that you are doing.
Will you tell me what to do?
Changes you need to make may be different from what other people need to do. You are in charge of making decisions about your life and your family. Other parents in the group will offer you suggestions based on what has worked for them and other people.
Why do I need to go to a group when my teen is the one with the problem?
If you ask your teen if he or she has a problem, they will answer no. If someone asks you if you have a problem, you will answer yes. You need to go to the group to create a plan to help your child and that plan includes a support system. Making changes is not easy and you will need a support system created of people who understand where you are.
How long will it take before I see changes in my teen's behaviour?
Maybe right away, maybe never. Your situation took a long time to develop and it will take a long time to change. Also, your teen's behaviour will change only as a result of changes in your own behaviour.
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