Parents’ Comments

What do parents say?
Below are some of the responses by parents on questions put to them by TOUGHLOVE.
After attending your group, have you got the tools you needed to bring about the change you were looking for when you first attended TOUGHLOVE?  Could you please describe any changes you have achieved.

  • Training sessions have been excellent and the support received.  Through this I have learned to detach myself, keep calm and then able to cope with stressful situations.  The home situation has improved, but my Toughlove child still has a way to go.
  •  Some good ideas and we feel more in control and able to make serious rules.
  • The relief to have someone understand what we were going through and not be judged.  The tools have empowered us as parents.  We are not as stressed, although it is still a rocky road but feel we are on the right track and swear by Toughlove.
  • Group support from other parents was valuable.  Also having someone phoning was good and someone to phone too.
  • The group gave me different behavioural options that would help me change to change the situation around me.  I have gained more control of my reactions which subsequently has managed to lessen tension situations.
  • Son who was causing huge family concerns is now well settled in his own flat and as a family we are communicating very well with him and his girlfriend.
  • The tools are there, but as time unfolds that change may be slower than we anticipated, small steps seem to be the progress.
  • I changed my attitude completely towards my son.  I realised that a lot I did, didn’t help him.  Toughlove let me let my son go, but I kept in touch with him everyday and now he has returned home and is working.
  • Strength to resist overtures and pleadings.  Phone numbers given and a face to call for support.
  • The practical tools of being able to reflect on our own behaviours and how this affects our child’s actions has been most helpful.
  • I have found TOUGHLOVE hugely beneficial as it has enabled me to stand back and to stop constantly rescuing.  It is also helpful to discuss problems with others who have been there.
  • Yes, I felt were empowered, I didn’t allow the situation to depress me.
  • Group was excellent, but we weren’t really able to go any further at time.  Problems are a process.
  • Absolutely, we have made decisions to work on changing things slowly and setting realistic and achievable goals.
  • Has been an excellent source of support and been fantastic to meet others who are going through or can identify with the same problems.  Also some great tips and ideas for coping.

Overall, were you satisfied with what your Parent Support group had to offer you?  Was the group well run, support arranged, kept to time, good education slots?

  • We are really impressed with Group management, support and find the education slots very helpful.
  • The group functioned well.  The other parents were kind and helpful.  The education slots were mostly good.
  • Overall the group has been extremely informative, supportive and helpful in reaching a better understanding of my son.
  • Very friendly, organised and family aware and for our individual family needs, we found suggestions, goal setting and strategies worked well when we followed TOUGHLOVE guide lines.
  • Loved the meetings, very constructive.
  • Great group – well run and well structure.
  • Well run, kept to time, provided follow up support.
  • Very well run, supportive plus a good variety or parents offering a mixture of responses/ideas.
  • What was presented was helpful.
  • Very well run.
  • The group is really well run and organised.  Friendly and welcoming to all.  Excellent time keeping ensuring all gets covered.

Do you have any suggestions on how we can improve our service or suggestions of things you would like to see us offering parents?

  • For more people like us to be made aware that there is help and support out there, at not a huge cost.
  • We found all aspects of the meetings we attended well organised and worthwhile, in particular group chats.
  • I think many people have the wrong view about TOUGHLOVE, this has not been helped by recent media reports.
  • The formation of a group in the Manurewa area.
  • It would be great to see Toughlove have a higher community profile and also have the “myths” about what its all about dispelled.
  • We had spent a lot of money which we could not afford at counselling, but have achieved so much more at TOUGHLOVE.  Thank you.  TOUGHLOVE supporter.
  • As you can see by our comments for us the programme has been beneficial.  Thank you to all concerned.
  • It was fantastic to find a group to help me, as I was at my wits end.  No sleep, constant tension, family breakdown but TOUGHLOVE helped immensely.
  • We feel full of gratitude to the Epsom TOUGHLOVE group – thanks.
  • TOUGHLOVE was a life saver for me last year.  We had exhausted a variety of private agencies but TOUGHLOVE really supported us and have us the courage to stop constantly trying to help and rescue.  Heartfelt thanks.
  • In the two sessions I learned valuable information and the group was supportive.
  • Thanks for the great work done.
  • Thank you.  We were at our wit’s end and felt helpless.  There was no help forthcoming from anyone else and we were almost despondent.  Now we are more positive and in control and have recommended TOUGHLOVE to a friend.